My Geek Notes

I recently decided to limit my time spent fixing others’ computers to mine and my wife’s immediate family; still quite the handful of people, but they do favors for me all the time so it seems an even exchange. The problem now lies in how to handle everyone else (mostly neighbors and associates) who would love for me to fix their computers for free. Even just giving advice can be terribly time consuming. The following are methods I’ve started to use to ensure I don’t end up fixing others’ computers for free, and still save face.

1. Leave the ball in their court
I just used this one the other night when stopped by a neighbor as I walked past her house. She needed some sort of HTML template for a site she submits to regularly. What she needed didn’t sound too hard, but I wasn’t willing to become the “project lead” by any means so I told her to get it all on paper and swing it by my house. I still haven’t heard from her. Making the requester take the initiative cancels out many would-be projects.

2. Delay them for another time
Most times when people have approached me, they want me to look at something right then or the same day. Similar to number one you can put the ball in their court by saying, “you know I don’t have time today (or this week) - give me a call next week and we’ll coordinate something.” This way they now have to take initiative a week from now and you’re not left getting back to them.

3. Stop volunteering advise or to help
Back when I was a young geek I used to want to fix everyone’s computer problems because I “knew it all”. Now I don’t even like to tell people what I do for a living for fear they’ll want me to do something for them. This method is a great one because it actually forces the requester to ask for your help when, after telling you their story, you haven’t volunteered a solution. It’s great practice for being a good listener and offering the occasional, “wow, that sucks.”

4. Refer someone else to fix the problem
I used this one the other night with the same lady in method #1. She said that her second computer was no longer seeing the printer over the network. Well come to find out, the original setup was done by another guy in the neighborhood, a friend of mine. “Well, he’s the man to fix that problem then”, I said. It’s such a great feeling to refer someone else who is more “skilled” at something than you are.

5. Quick list solution
This method usually starts off with, “Now here’s what you need to do …” and ends with a list of programs, tweaks, or hardware that will fix their problem. Best case scenario, they understand and fix the problem. Worst case, they come back 10 minutes later not remembering one of the steps or with a new problem because they did something wrong. Only use this one on the simple stuff because it will take you seconds/minutes to explain and won’t be too hard for them to do themselves … you hope.

6. Offer a “discounted” rate
I got this idea from my brother-in-law who uses it quite often. The neighbor approaches with the problem. You state your regular rate of $150/hour but say, “hey, your my neighbor so I’ll only charge you half that amount.” And there you go - either the neighbor pays you for your time or walks away thinking, “what a great guy to offer such a discount, although I can’t afford it”.

7. Offer to exchange services
Same as the previous one and also from the brother-in-law. This time you turn the tables and ask a favor in return playing on the requester’s strengths. I’d advise you use a different method if the requester doesn’t do something beneficial to you like mechanics, landscaping, or dentistry.

8. Refuse to troubleshoot over the phone
I really, really hate trying to figure out what’s wrong with someone’s computer over the phone especially when you’re at the question level of “is the computer on?” or they ask, “what’s a desktop?”. Say, “you know it’s really hard to do this over the phone” and then work in a #1 or #2 and cross your fingers that they never take initiative.

9. If you really don’t know, tell them
I can’t count the number of times I’ve had to do research myself to figure out someone else’s problem and then fix it. Saying, “you know, I really don’t know how to fix that” may make you look a little week in the geekhood, but when you’re a seasoned (and weathered) geek, do you really care anymore? I know my time is more important to me now than how much others think I know.

10. I’m sorry, I just don’t have the time
The end all, the failsafe, the honest answer. The best way to approach this one is to make them understand that you really, really wish you could help them, but you just don’t have the time. This one reminds of the episode of Cheers where Norm has to fire people as part of his job and ends up sobbing every time. Those being fired end up comforting Norm. Great show.

Let me know of any you have. Anything to save my time and face.